You may have noticed that a lot of the lingerie on this site contains the letters ‘DDLG’ in its description or title and be wondering what is DDLG?
Perhaps you have never heard of it before, or maybe you have a vague idea of what DDLG is but don’t really understand what it’s all about.
Well my lovelies, worry thee not because I’m about to answer all of your questions, including what is DDLG? What does ‘DDLG’ mean? Why do people enjoy DDLG? And the biggie – is DDLG always sexual?
What is DDLG? A DDLG Guide for Beginners
What is DDLG?
DDLG is an acronym that stands for ‘Daddy Dom, Little Girl’ and it describes a type of BDSM relationship that is becoming increasingly common.
In a DDLG relationship, the dominant partner takes on the role of either a nurturing or strict caregiver (hence, ‘Daddy’), with the submissive partner taking on the role of a youthful ‘little girl.’
Now, before we go any further, I want to make something very clear – DDLG has nothing to do with incest or paedophilia. DDLG describes a kinky age-play/role-play between two consenting adults and people in DDLG relationships are not paedophiles, nor are they trying to act out any paedophilic fantasies.
I understand that to many, hearing the terms ‘Daddy’ and ‘little girl’ in a sexual context are icky, and look, you don’t have to like it, but you do have to realise that people who practice DDLG are not doing anything wrong or shameful.
Is DDLG Only for Cishet Couples?
Of course, the term ‘DDLG’ applies to a heterosexual male/female relationship, but there are many variations of the acronym to account for different types of relationships, such as MDLG (Mommy Domme, Little Girl), DDLB (Daddy Dom, Little Boy) and TMLB (Trans Mommy Little Boy).
A term that encompasses every type of DDLG relationship is CGL, which stands for Caregiver, Little, and can include all genders and sexual orientations.
For the sake of this article, I am going to refer to the practice as DDLG because that is the most well-known variant (aside from ABDL perhaps), but most of the things that I will go on to describe can refer to all forms of CGL.
What is DDLG and What Does a DDLG Relationship Look Like in Practice?
The submissive one in the DDLG relationship, known as the ‘little,’ will often regress back in age to a younger, more childlike state of mind, known as ‘age-play.’
This could be as old as a teenager or as young as a baby who wears diapers, and it involves giving up control and handing it over to the Dom, or caregiver.
When the little is pretending to be younger than their actual age, it is known as being in ‘little space’ and is really just a different frame of mind.
The Daddy Dom takes on the role of the caregiver, and they will both nurture and discipline their little.
This discipline could take the form of corporal punishments like whipping, flogging and spanking, or it could be as simple as not giving their little ice cream after dinner!
Punishments occur when the little breaks the rules (which they will sometimes do on purpose!).
If the little behaves herself, she may be rewarded, and the rewards can be anything from a day out at the zoo to a big cuddle to toasted marshmallows – basically anything the little enjoys.
When a little is in little space, she will typically enjoy the things she used to when she was a child, such as playing with stuffed animals and watching Disney movies. Her voice may become higher, and her body language will take on that of a child as she fully embraces her little side.
Often, the Dom will help his little enter little space. This could be with the use of a specific word, giving her a special outfit to wear that indicates the start of play, or by creating a scene designed to take her to that special place in her mind.
Is DDLG Sexual?
DDLG is considered to be a kink because it is closely related to the BDSM kink community, and for many people, DDLG is a sexual thing that takes place in the bedroom.
The punishment aspect in particular can be a real turn-on for littles and their Doms, and this is why the DDLG kink is so closely tied to BDSM.
However, DDLG does not always have to be sexual, and actually, many people in DDLG relationships view DDLG as more of a lifestyle than a sexual fetish, and use age-play as a way to relax rather than one of sexual pleasure.
Non-sexual DDLG activities can include:
- Being ordered to go to bed early and be read a story by Daddy
- Using accessories like pacifiers and sippy cups to get into ‘little space’
- Using colouring books, watching Disney movies, having tea parties and playing with dolls
- Sticking to a set of rules, such as having a bedtime, not being allowed to swear, only eating candy on certain days etc.
- The little referring to her Dom as ‘Daddy’ and him referring to her as ‘Babygirl’ or something similar
- The little being made to do chores such as making the bed
- The Dom may tuck the little in at bedtime, towel her dry after her shower, brush her hair and help her get dressed
- The Dom may give their little a bath, complete with bath toys and bubbles
- Dressing in childlike clothes such as onesies and over the knee socks
- Eating with plastic utensils and plastic children’s plates
- Tickling and play fighting
Why Do People Enjoy DDLG?
Many people assume that if somebody enjoys DDLG and age-play, it means that they were abused as a child.
Now, while this can sometimes be the case, it is not always the case by any means, and people enjoy DDLG for many reasons.
For the little, age-play can be a way to de-stress and completely unwind and relax from the stresses of everyday life. By handing over all control to their caregiver, they are free to enjoy life as they did when they were a child, without having any responsibilities or things to worry about.
If a person has been a victim of abuse, or experienced a childhood full of neglect, DDLG can be a way to experience the love and nurture that they were never able to as a child, as well as reclaiming the innocence that may have been cruelly taken away from them.
As for the Dom, being the one in control can be super fulfilling. They are able to take care of their little and be rewarded with unlimited adoration and affection. They may enjoy the feeling of being the one with the power and dishing out punishments and discipline, or they may derive a sense of purpose from having somebody to nurture and care for.
To the uninformed, it may seem worrying that somebody actually enjoys things like whipping and flogging, but you must remember that we are talking about safe, sane and consensual BDSM between two consenting adults.
The Importance of Aftercare
Aftercare is very important in the BDSM community and it describes the practice of the Dom taking physical and mental care of the sub after a ‘scene.’
Aftercare gently pulls the sub out of little space and back into the ‘real world,’ and is particularly helpful if the sub has undergone a gruelling BDSM scene with corporal punishment, humiliation, degradation etc. After all, BDSM can be really physically and emotionally taxing.
I mean, think about it – if you’ve just gone through physical and emotional pain at the hands of your partner (consensual of course), you’re going to want them to hold you and stroke your hair afterwards. If they just sloped off to watch television in the next room, I’m guessing you wouldn’t feel too great about yourself or your relationship!
Aftercare is also the time when you check in with your partner that they are okay, that their physical and emotional needs have been met, and you can ask them how the scene was for them and if there was anything that they didn’t like. This is also called a ‘debrief’ and while some couples have their debrief after aftercare, you can also have it during.
Aftercare looks different for everybody, but making a cup of tea, having a cuddle and having a laugh and a joke together are all great ways of getting the natural dynamic of your relationship back and coming back down to earth.
The Best DDLG Store Picks
If you’re curious about dipping your toes into the world of DDLG and want to buy something cute to get you started, it can be difficult even knowing where to start.
I’ve rounded up some of the best DDLG picks Jezebel by Night has to offer, from the cute and cosy to devilishly sexy. Just click on the pictures to be taken to the product pages!
You can also enter the code DDLG at checkout for 10% off your order 😉
And that brings us to a close! I hope that now you’re a bit clearer on what DDLG is and what a DDLG relationship looks like. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to contact me!